Avatar 2 predictions
June 14th, 2010 | Filed under: Notes | Tags: predictions | Add a Comment »Because of the cartoonish predictability of Avatar, the fact that Cameron has already said the plot involves the oceans, and the current BP Oil Spill, I would like to set some predictions about Avatar 2 down right now.
- First off, it won’t be called Avatar 2. It will be called Pandora.
- The plot will be the BP Oil Spill. A secret group of Nasty Humans will secretly be drilling in the beautiful oceans of Pandora, and will cause an unprecedented flow of Nasty Black Substance into the pristine waters. The Blue Guys will then have to stop the flow, fighting against Nasty Humans, time, and nature its-freaking-self.
- A subplot will involve tension between Blue Guy and Blue Girl over Blue Guy’s Nasty Human past.
- Blue Guy, as leader of All Blue Guys, will react too slowly to the Nasty Black Substance, as a “veiled” criticism of Obama (just to show that Cameron doesn’t care about politics, he cares about The Environment).
- Since sequels often involve infighting, there will at some point be violent conflict between two groups of Blue Guys… probably there will be a group of traitorous Blue Guys who team up with the secretly drilling Nasty Humans.
- At some point, Blue Guy and Blue Girl will ABSOLUTELY hook their head-plugs into some submarine-fish.
- At some point, Blue Girl will ABSOLUTELY say to Blue Guy, “Eywa is angry with us!”
- James Cameron will make a big deal of his newfangled NatureMotionCapture technology, and tell us all about how the fish in the oceans of Pandora are motion-captured fish on earth, and that Pandora isn’t some other exciting place to go, but just a way of helping us see this Big Beautiful World with fresh eyes all over again. He’ll probably tear up while saying this.
- At the climax, we will be led to believe that Blue Girl sacrificed herself nobly to stop the Nasty Black Substance.
- She’ll be back in Avatar 3 (which will be named after either Pandora’s solar system or simply called Eywa), which will go to the other planets in the system. She’ll also have a mystical connection with Pandora.
Anyone want to lay money on this?