Confessional

Every now and then, you’ll hear me say that society is schizophrenic. That it expects us to be bodybuilders in the morning, nerds during the day, and rockstars at night. Or, even better, all three at all times.

The truth is, while society may contribute to the pressure, it’s really me who expects myself to be all that. I think of myself as pretty great, and get angry, depressed, or discouraged when I don’t live up to the godlike image I have of myself. As a result, I try to compartmentalize by problem-solving in the various areas of my life. “I’ll push myself harder by doing X at the gym, then by increasing my Y at work, and making time to do Z in my personal life!”

The reality, however, when you peel back the pride and fear of others’ opinions, is that I am one man. I have one soul. One heart. And I live in relation to one God. I don’t need to spend my life rushing from area to area trying to keep myselves looking good.

Since I’m not a three-headed superbeing/monster, all my decisions, priorities, and skills are coming from the same place. I need to deal with my heart’s need for redemption in my relationship with God. Everything else will flow out of that. I won’t simultaneously be Arnold, Steve, and Bono, but I don’t have to be.

Do you ever feel that pressure? That you need to do everything, and do it all well? Do you need to problem-solve, get a little more knowledge and skill, and your life will be perfect? Or do you know that you can’t do it all, but you’re still anxious or guilty because you know that you’re not getting to everything?

Lay down all those expectations, public faces, and stereotypes. Go before God as the one human being you are. That’s where you’ll find freedom… in the humble smallness of one beating heart in need of redemption at the cross of Christ.

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